Grade Me

I hereby invite you to critique me on a poem I drummed up last night.

Please feel free to post a reply and tag me, since I don’t have comments activated here. I’m happy to have people see your insights.

DEPARTURE
by: Sheralyn Pratt

Goodbye—
not farewell.
This is a good bye.
I never heard the difference
until now.
Until you.
Until I fared you well
when I should have bid you goodbye.
I didn’t know…
I thought they were the same.
I didn’t hear the difference
‘til I paired them with your name
… a goodbye vs. a farewell…
two compound words
with very different flipsides.
And the truth is,
you have fared well enough
and to survive
I must bid you goodbye.

___

Revisions:


Goodbye—
not farewell.
This is a good bye.
I never heard the difference
until I fared you well
when I should have bid you goodbye.
I didn’t know…
I thought they were the same.
I didn’t hear the difference
‘til I paired them with your name
… a goodbye vs. a farewell…
two compound words
with very different flipsides.
And the truth is,
you have fared well enough
and to survive
I must bid you goodbye.

Edits suggested by: Cynthia Miller

Dream Beaches

By: Sheralyn Pratt

In nature,
hundreds of thousands of sea turtles
lay millions of eggs each year
in prime beach sand.
90% of their eggs will hatch.
but only 1% will survive
and thrive in maturity.

I’ve found that dreams
can be much the same
— mesmerizing
as they emerge in tiny perfection
before sand-crawling their way
to the great sea of possibilities
where predators lurk,
challenges never flinch,
and competition doesn’t blink or share.

It’s no wonder we often hold
our dream hatchlings close
when they first emerge from their nest.
It’s a rough world out there
and so few dreams survive.
It makes sense to want
to play Peter Pan
and hold on to every tiny possibility
like a child…
but the truth is
we must let dreams go
— let them crawl the beach
and swim —
and know that those that brave
the sea of life will evolve
and bring new life again.